Brattleboro, Vermont: Rain, Rumors, and Really Weird Potatoes

okay, so i’m pretty sure i’m running on caffeine and the sheer terror of missing a decent sunrise. i just landed in brattleboro, vermont, and honestly? it’s… something. the air smells like wet leaves and vaguely disappointed maple syrup. i checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. the pressure’s at 1022, humidity’s hovering around 40, which is basically a swampy hug. feels like 9.92, temp min 9.92, temp max 9.92 - yeah, that’s unsettling.

my phone’s already dying, which is a tragedy because i need to document this. i’m talking about the potatoes. seriously. they’re… enormous. like, prize-winning, vaguely unsettlingly large potatoes. i saw a guy at the farmer’s market practically wrestling one into his cart. someone told me that he’s entering it in the county fair. i don’t know why, but it felt important.

this place is a weird mix of aggressively quaint and… well, slightly off. the architecture is all clapboard and gingerbread, but there’s this undercurrent of something else. like, a forgotten secret. i’m trying to capture it with my camera, but it’s proving difficult. my lens keeps fogging up. it’s a whole thing.

i stumbled into this little diner called ‘the rusty sprocket’ - it’s seriously named that. the waitress, a woman named Agnes who looked like she’d wrestled a badger and won, served me a coffee that tasted like burnt caramel and regret. she also gave me some drunk advice about avoiding the old mill on the outskirts of town. something about ‘things that shouldn’t be seen.’ naturally, i’m intrigued.

Someone overheard me talking about the potatoes and said, ‘Don’t ask about the potatoes. Just… don’t.’ It was a guy in a flannel shirt, nursing a beer. He looked like he’d seen things.

i’ve been wandering around, trying to find some decent street art. brattleboro seems to be a bit behind the times in that department, but i did find a surprisingly decent mural of a badger playing a banjo. it’s… a thing. i’m linking to a local art board here: https://www.brattleboroarts.org/.

my gear list is currently a chaotic mess of batteries, memory cards, and existential dread. here’s the breakdown:

Camera (obviously)
Extra batteries (like, lots of extra batteries)
Memory cards (seriously, don’t run out)
Notebook (for scribbling down increasingly bizarre observations)
Rain jacket (because, vermont)
A healthy dose of skepticism
A slightly concerning amount of dark chocolate

i’m thinking of checking out the Brattleboro Museum & Art Center tomorrow. i heard that they have a collection of… well, i don’t know what* they have, but it’s supposedly interesting. i also need to find a decent place to eat that isn’t aggressively wholesome. i’m craving something greasy and vaguely illegal. i’m looking at Yelp for options: https://www.yelp.com/.

if you get bored, boston is just a short drive away. i’m also considering a trip to putnam, vt. it’s a tiny town with a surprisingly large population of antique shops. i’m not sure why, but i’m drawn to it.

i’m starting to think i should have brought a better map. this one is just a series of vaguely unsettling lines. and the wifi is atrocious. i’m pretty sure i’m losing my mind. i heard that the locals are incredibly friendly, but also deeply suspicious of outsiders. it’s a delicate balance.

i’m going to go find some more potatoes. and maybe try to avoid the old mill. wish me luck.

check out TripAdvisor for some more travel tips: https://www.tripadvisor.com/

and if you’re ever in brattleboro, don’t ask about the potatoes.

Brattleboro, Vermont: Rain, Rumors, and Really Weird Potatoes

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About the author: Gabriel Kent

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