Caloocan City Weather Doesn’t Care If You Wore Sandals (And Neither Do I)
it’s 37°C in Caloocan and my shirt’s sticking to my back like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. i didn’t come here for the weather. i came because the rent’s half of manila’s and the 7-elevens still have pancit canton at 11pm, which is basically therapy in this city.
the seasons here don’t follow the calendar. they follow the gods of humidity and the guy who sells kwek-kwek outside the LRT station.
summer? it’s not a season-it’s a persistent roommate who never cleans up after themselves. you wake up, the air’s thick enough to chew, your phone overheats at 30% battery, and the moped next to you is sweating more than you are. may 2023 hit 40.4°C, according to PAGASA. trust me, you feel it.
rainy season? that’s when the streets turn into rivers with extra drama. floods swallow scooters whole. i saw a guy ride his electric bike through waist-deep water like it was a yoga pose. he wasn’t even wet.
autumn? there is no autumn. just a slightly less humid version of summer where you start noticing ants in your rice. and winter? same temperature as your ex’s texts-rare, misleading, and always disappointing.
here’s what nobody tells you:
- rent for a studio near Sangandaan averages ₱7,500/month.
- the job market? half are security guards, half are delivery drivers, and the rest are people trying to turn bagnet into a side hustle.
- crime? it’s fine if you don’t flash cash or take selfies at 2am in front of the old Quezon Bridge. but honestly? people here are just busy surviving.
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overheard at a sari-sari store near C-5:
> "Selling ice candy but the freezer broke again. Weather said 36, my soul said 102."
> "I live in Grace Park. When it rains, the whole block smells like boiled fish and regret. But the food here? unmatched."
the infamous "morning dust"? yeah, that’s a thing. between 6-8am, the wind picks up and turns the whole city into a paused TikTok trend. it gets in your eyes, your coffee, your dreams.
you think manila's traffic is bad? try driving from Caloocan to Malabon in June during a downpour. the MMDA doesn’t show up. the cops are underwater. you just cry and keep driving.
i’ve got three things i recommend:
1. Learn to lovingly hate your AC unit. It’s your only friend.
2. Always carry a plastic bag. You’ll need it for wet shoes, wet phone, wet dignity.
3. Visit Happy Valley Park. It’s 20 minutes away, shady, and they don’t charge you a cent. Someone once told me ghosts of old jeepney drivers hang out there. i didn’t see any. but i got free balot from a man who said he retired from being a city engineer.
link to r/Caloocan on Reddit for real-time flood alerts and undocumented food spots.
link to Yelp - San Juan del Monte Market - i ate a sandwich here that made me forget my ex’s name.
link to TripAdvisor - Caloocan City Church Walks - yes, the architecture is depressingly beautiful.
and if you’re wondering if you should move here?
i live here.
i don’t have wifi on my bike, but i have chicharon and sweat dating back to 2020.
the weather doesn’t care. you shouldn’t either.
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