Commute Times in Jacksonville: How Long Will You Spend in Traffic? (Seriously)

okay, so like, i’m staring at this map of Jacksonville -

- and it’s making me feel… anxious. not in a good way. more like the kind of anxious you get after three double espressos and realizing you forgot to pay your rent. i just moved here, supposedly for the ‘affordable cost of living’ and the ‘growing tech scene,’ but honestly, the traffic is a straight-up monster. i’m a touring session drummer, so i’m used to moving around, but this is… different. it’s like wading through molasses, except the molasses is filled with pickup trucks and people who think merging is optional.

my buddy, leo - he’s a freelance photographer, always chasing the golden hour - told me something last night. he said, "Dude, don’t even think about driving downtown before 8 am. It’s a bloodbath. Seriously, I saw a guy honk at a turtle the other day. A turtle." that’s Jacksonville for ya. wild.

let’s get down to brass tacks, because i’m already running on fumes. i’ve been tracking my commutes - mostly from Ortega to Riverside - and the average is… 47 minutes. 47 MINUTES! that’s, like, a whole goddamn podcast series. i’ve been listening to true crime, which, honestly, is probably making the traffic worse.

*Here’s the breakdown (according to my very unreliable data):

(Source: My increasingly desperate Google Sheets spreadsheet. Don’t judge.)

Okay, so, rent. Apparently, you can find a decent one-bedroom in San Marco for around $1600. Ortega? $1400. But then you factor in gas, tolls (which are a thing here - seriously, they’re like, $1.25 per toll lane), and the sheer existential dread of sitting in traffic… it adds up. I checked out some listings on Zillow - https://www.zillow.com/jacksonville-fl/ - and it’s brutal.

Speaking of brutal, I overheard a conversation at a bar in Riverside - the Rusty Spoon, it’s a dive, but the beer’s cheap - about the job market. Someone said, “Tech’s booming, yeah, but you gotta be willing to commute. Most people are working remotely now, but the companies that are here want you in the office. It’s a weird vibe.” Reddit seems to confirm this - https://www.reddit.com/r/Jacksonville/ - lots of people complaining about the commute.

And the weather! It’s… humid. Like, aggressively humid. It’s like stepping into a warm, wet towel. It’s not bad, per se, but it’s a constant reminder that you’re sweating through your shirt. It’s basically a perpetual summer, which is cool for some, but not when you’re stuck in traffic. It’s like 85 degrees and 90% humidity, with a chance of afternoon showers. Feels like Miami, but with less beach and more… traffic.

I also heard from a local - a guy named Dale who runs a vintage clothing store downtown - that you should avoid driving on I-295 during rush hour. He said, “It’s a warzone. People get road rage. Seriously, don’t go there. Just… don’t.” https://www.yelp.com/biz/dale-s-vintage-clothing-jacksonville - check out his shop, it’s a trip.

Pro-Tip (from a sleep-deprived drummer):* Invest in noise-canceling headphones. Seriously. You’ll thank me later. And maybe a good book. Or a very strong drink.

Honestly, I’m starting to think I should just buy a motorcycle. Or a teleportation device. But for now, I’m just gonna keep battling the Jacksonville traffic. Wish me luck. And maybe send coffee.

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