hitchhiking to mykolaiv with three broken strings and zero thermal underwear
still not sure how i ended up here. hitchhiked from kyiv with just a backpack, my trusty guitar (missing E and B strings, obviously), and this unshakable feeling i left my dignity at a gas station toilet near zaporizhzhia. *literally just checked my frostbitten phone and it’s -7 degrees but feels like getting slapped by a walrus wearing brass knuckles out there. welcome to ukrainian winter, comrades.
the busking scene here? brutal. played near that weird war monument shaped like a concrete accordion for exactly 37 minutes before a babushka threw a cabbage at me-three-star review, honestly. someone told me the park near monument of 68 sailors is warmer, but that’s like saying hell has better wifi than purgatory. tried warming up at kava chornaya where the espresso could dissolve spoons. barista looked at my chattering teeth and slid me a shot of medicinal horilka under the counter. saints exist.
i heard that mykolaiv zoo has penguins that smoke cigarettes, but that’s probably just local folklore. or soviet nostalgia. same difference. made friends with a stray dog named boris who now follows me like a fuzzy debt collector.
if you get bored, beryslav and snihurivka are just a train ride away if you enjoy existential dread and sharing seats with chickens. met a crust punk named igor playing the spoons outside central market* who whispered that voloshka bar pours illegal absinthe but only after midnight on leap years. commitment required.
the cold here turns your bones into icicles. watched some dudes fishing through ice on the ingul river while chain-smoking like it was competitive sport-true slavic vibes. found an abandoned soviet piano warehouse via this sketchy reddit thread. played chopsticks while boris howled accompaniment. art, baby.
survival tip: layer like a paranoid onion. sing loud. steal warmth from stray animals ethically.
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