Kolkata Chaos: Noodles, Ghosts, and Seriously Sticky Streets
okay, so i’m pretty sure i’m running on fumes and the questionable chai i had at 4 am. 1277539… that’s the number of pigeons i’ve personally shooed away today. 1356113138… honestly, i have no idea what that is. probably just a really long receipt. the air here is thick, like a damp wool blanket, and it smells vaguely of turmeric and something… else. something ancient.
It’s 26.99 degrees, feels like 26.49, temp min 26.99, temp max 26.99, pressure 1011, humidity 32, sea level 1011, grnd level 1010. yeah, that’s… precise. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.
I’m in Kolkata, obviously. and it’s a sensory overload in the best possible way. like, aggressively best. i spent the morning wandering around North Kolkata, getting completely lost in the labyrinthine alleys. seriously, google maps is a liar here. you just… stumble. i found this amazing little stall selling kati rolls - basically, a giant, flaky paratha wrapped around spiced potatoes and chutney. it was glorious. i’m pretty sure i gained five pounds just from that one thing.
Someone told me that the best place to find vintage saris is in Burra Bazaar. I heard that the vendors there are masters of negotiation, but also, like, aggressively charming. you gotta play the game. i’m thinking of hitting up TripAdvisor for some more intel.
I also spent a couple of hours exploring the Kumartuli potter’s district. It’s insane. Like, a whole neighborhood dedicated to making pandal - those massive, intricately decorated bamboo structures that are everywhere during Durga Puja. The sheer scale of it is mind-blowing.
Then, because i’m a complete idiot, i decided to go ghost hunting. Yeah, you heard me. Kolkata is supposedly riddled with spirits. I went with a guy named Rohan - he claims to be a ‘sensitive’ (read: slightly unhinged). We visited a few old colonial buildings, and Rohan kept dramatically pointing at walls and muttering about “residual energy.” I mostly just felt cold and slightly creeped out. I think he was just trying to upsell me on a psychic reading.
I overheard gossip at a rooftop cafe about a haunted tea house near Dalhousie Square. Apparently, a former owner died mysteriously, and his ghost still haunts the place, serving up lukewarm tea. Yelp says it’s a solid 3.5 stars - mostly for the view.
My neighbors, the families living in the tenements, were incredibly friendly, offering me bits of bhutta (grilled corn) and sharing stories about their lives. They’re a tough bunch, but there’s a real warmth to them. If you get bored, Bhubaneshwar is just a short drive away.
I’m currently nursing a massive dose of ginger tea and trying to decipher the local street signs. They’re written in Bengali, English, and a series of cryptic symbols. It’s beautiful and terrifying all at once.
Pro-tip: Wear comfortable shoes. Seriously. You’ll be doing a lot of walking. And don’t be afraid to get lost. That’s where the real magic happens. Also, learn a few basic Bengali phrases. “Dhonnobad” (thank you) goes a long way.
I’m heading to a street food tour tomorrow - hopefully, it’ll be less… intense than the ghost hunting. I found a local board with some recommendations: https://www.kolkatatourism.or.in/.
And if you’re looking for a good place to grab a bite, check out this place: https://www.yelp.com/.
Seriously, this city is a mess. A glorious, chaotic, utterly captivating mess.
Oh, and one last thing: don’t trust anyone who offers you a ‘genuine’ antique. They’re probably just trying to scam you. Just saying.
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