Lagos Heatstroke & Questionable Plantain: A Botanist's Descent
okay, so lagos. it’s…a lot. i’m elara, by the way, and i spend my days obsessing over ferns and generally getting dirt under my fingernails. usually in slightly more temperate climates. this was a choice. a bad one, maybe?
let’s just say the humidity hit me like a wall. i just checked and it’s…actively trying to dissolve your sunglasses, apparently. 34.16 celsius, feels like 37.75. which, honestly, feels like lying face-down on a radiator. the air pressure is 1011, which i guess is normal? i don’t know, i’m a plant person, not a meteorologist. humidity’s at 47%, which explains why my hair has declared independence.
i came here hoping to find some rare orchids, specifically the Aerangis somalensis - apparently, there’s a small pocket where they might grow. so far, i’ve mostly found aggressive street vendors and a concerning number of pigeons. the *markets are…an experience. a sensory overload. i spent a good hour just trying to navigate the spice section without sneezing my face off.
someone told me that the best place to get plantain is from that woman near the bus park, but also that she overcharges tourists. classic. i ended up getting it from a guy who looked like he’d seen things. it was…okay. a little too sweet for my liking. i’m starting to suspect all plantain in lagos is 50% sugar.
i’ve been staying in a guesthouse in lekki. it’s…fine. the wifi is spotty, which is a disaster for my research, and the generator keeps cutting out. but the owner, auntie ifeoma, is an absolute legend. she makes the strongest coffee i’ve ever tasted and keeps warning me about “area boys.” apparently, they’re not to be messed with. i’ve been sticking to well-lit streets, just in case. you can find more info about the area on TripAdvisor.
i overheard a conversation in a cafe yesterday - apparently, there’s a hidden garden somewhere in victoria island with a collection of antique sculptures. someone said it’s guarded by a very grumpy caretaker and you need to bribe him with mangoes. i’m seriously considering a mango-based reconnaissance mission. i also saw a review on Yelp about a botanical garden, but it said it was mostly just weeds.
the neighbors are…loud. in a good way, mostly. there’s always music playing, and people are constantly shouting greetings. if you get bored, abeokuta is just a short drive away, i think. auntie ifeoma mentioned it. she also said something about a festival happening next week, involving a lot of drumming and dancing. i’m cautiously optimistic.
i’ve been trying to document all the interesting plants i’ve seen, but it’s hard when you’re constantly dodging motorcycles and negotiating prices. i found a really cool species of hibiscus, though - bright red flowers, almost fluorescent. i’m hoping to get a cutting before i leave. i’ve been using this local plant identification forum to try and figure out what everything is. it’s…helpful, sometimes.
honestly, lagos is exhausting. but it’s also…captivating. it’s chaotic, vibrant, frustrating, and beautiful all at the same time. i’m not sure i’ll find my orchid, but i’m definitely finding an adventure. and maybe, just maybe, a decent plate of jollof rice. i heard that the place on adeniran ogunsanya* street makes the best, but you have to get there before noon or it’s all gone. i’ll let you know how it goes. i'm also checking out hotels in Lagos for my next stay.
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