Mumbai Mayhem: 1257416 & 1356921375 – And a Whole Lotta Chai
okay, so. mumbai. wow. just…wow. i’m still pretty sure i left a piece of my sanity somewhere near Crawford Market, but honestly, it was worth it. i’m a touring session drummer, you see, and i just wrapped up a gig with this band - seriously intense stuff - and needed a place to decompress. my agent suggested Mumbai. i’m not entirely sure why. maybe he just wanted to see me suffer.
I just checked and it's hovering around 29 degrees Celsius right now, feels like 27.47. Humidity’s a beast, though. Like, you walk outside and immediately feel like you’re swimming in warm soup. I’m not complaining, exactly. It’s…different. I’m used to the dry heat of LA, so this is a whole new level of…moisture.
I ended up staying in Colaba, which was a good call. Super central, tons of street food (more on that later), and close to the Gateway of India. Seriously, go see the Gateway. It’s…big. And impressive. And swarming with pigeons. Don’t make eye contact with the pigeons. Trust me.
I spent a ridiculous amount of time wandering around, just soaking it all in. The noise, the smells, the sheer energy of the place is overwhelming at first, but then it just…becomes the background. You start to notice the little things. The intricate carvings on the buildings, the way the light hits the water, the sheer determination of the auto-rickshaw drivers.
Speaking of auto-rickshaws… negotiate. Always negotiate. Seriously. I got ripped off like, three times. Someone told me that the drivers think tourists are walking ATMs. Harsh, but probably true. Check out some reviews on TripAdvisor before you go - https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g297604-Activities-Mumbai_Maharashtra.html. They’re surprisingly helpful.
Food. Oh, the food. I ate my weight in vada pav. And pani puri. And pav bhaji. And…well, everything. Seriously, just eat everything. Don’t be afraid. My stomach is still recovering, but it was worth it. I found this amazing little place near Marine Drive - Yelp says it’s called “Shree Thaker Bhojanalay” - https://www.yelp.com/biz/shree-thaker-bhojanalay-mumbai. It’s a thali place, so you get a little bit of everything. Go hungry.
I overheard some drunk guys arguing about the best place to get masala chai. Apparently, there’s a fierce rivalry between two vendors near Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus. One guy swore by the cardamom in one, the other was all about the ginger in the other. It was…intense. I just grabbed a chai from the first one I saw. It was delicious.
“Don’t trust anyone who says they know Mumbai. It’s a city that reveals itself slowly, and only to those who are willing to get lost.”
“The traffic is a living organism. Just…accept it. Fighting it is pointless.”
“If you’re looking for peace and quiet, you’re in the wrong place.”
If you get bored, Pune and Lonavala are just a short drive away. I didn’t make it out there this time, but I heard they’re nice for a day trip. I’m already planning my return. I need to find that piece of my sanity I lost in Crawford Market. And eat more vada pav.
Oh, and a local warned me about the monkeys. Apparently, they’re notorious for stealing sunglasses and food. Keep your stuff close. Seriously. They’re sneaky. I saw one snatch a banana right out of a guy’s hand. It was…impressive, in a terrifying sort of way. Check out some local forums for more tips - https://www.indiamike.com/india/mumbai-maharashtra-forum.
Okay, I think that’s everything. My brain is officially fried. Time for a nap. And maybe another cup of chai.
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