neon ridge, where the freezing rain writes poetry on sidewalks
woke up to a telescope pointing at the ceiling. it was -1.05°c. i checked. it’s still out there, doing its best to freeze my car horn. 1854487 on my fridge light? maybe that’s how we’re supposed to spell ‘hunger‘. 1392081193 is probably the time i last felt this existential.:
last night’s weather was like a nitrogen smoothie poured over everything. stuff just blackout froze. i swear, my boots looked like they were wearing ice caps. tried to go for a jog and it felt like running through liquid glass. not my type of aerobics.
neighbors here are like, uh, snow monsters. one’s that old guy who keeps broadcasting static into his radio. i asked him what he’s listening to. he said ‘a hundred years of silence, kid.’ classic. then there’s the neighbor cat that howls at the moon and then immediatelyształs into a human. i’m not joking. yesterday, it was a guy in a parka. today, it’s a walrus. logic is out the window.
i heard that from a local at tripadvisor’s comments section. or maybe it was yelp. either way, people swear this city’s haunted by a guy who’s really good at painting with icicles. some say he’s just a artist. others say he’s a crypto scam. no one agrees. honestly, i just want to know if he’ll levitate my latte.
picture one: i snapped a shot of a street sign melting mid-rain. not of the sign itself-sobering. it’s the condensation. here’s that image: <img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1720792445167-c622bb1d8378?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="a melting neon sign in the rain" width="100%">
picture two: a statue of some guy frozen mid-scream. i think he’s judging us. <img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1587076378516-c80066081c0c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="gray concrete statue of a man" width="100%">
picture three: a coffee shop sign that’s just… there. endlessly there. like a meme. <img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1603881027201-fdd5de1ce0c6?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="a coffee shop sign in a foreign language" width="100%">
someone at a hostel said this sign is cursed. they woke up one morning and it’d moved 10 feet east. like, why? i told them i believed in soul-as-liquid-thread theories. they sold me garlic.
maple syrup exists. yes. against all odds. i found a house where the windows are covered in syrupy residue. the owner’s note said ‘abandoned in a spree of kindness. take with you.’ i’m not leaving without trying to drink some. tripadvisor warns of ‘syrup bandits’ in the alley. they’re probably just me.
budget tip? wear multiple layers. also, don’t trust the wind. it’s like a mischievous weasel with bad manners. if you get bored, neon ridge’s nearest town is 45 minutes of driving. it’s called ‘sunny hollow.’ i heard that’s where the mayor’s pet dinosaur lives. i’ll take my chances. links to get there: yelp’s page for sunset vista. tripadvisor’s haunted ice cream shop. and a local board that says ‘please don’t set fire to anything.’
p.s. if you’re here for the cold, it’s real. i’ve had snow in my eyelashes. not as a metaphor. it’s there. hope you like that kind of thing.
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