nîmes and the heat of the afternoon, or: how to survive a sunburn in 37.56 degrees
just got off the train and immediately regretted wearing white. 37.56 degrees is not a suggestion-it’s a warning. the streets here feel like a furnace wrapped in dehydrated olive oil. if you’ve ever wondered what it means to sweat through a lukewarm conversation, welcome. I’m sitting at a café terrace where the tap water is currently being used as a coolant for what might be a political prisoner. the waiter, who’s either a saint or about to combust, is delivering my glass like it’s radioactive.
there’s a search bar for maps nearby. honestly, the only reason i didn’t die of heatstroke five minutes into this post was because i grabbed a fan from walmart five seconds ago. it was 22% humidity, which means dry heat that doesn’t suck your soul out, but also feels like a concrete oven. the ground here is basically a giant radiator. neighbors? oh right, if you get bored, avignon is just a short drive away. or marseille if you’re in the mood to get lost in a ghost town of palm trees.
I heard that the old town has these cobblestone alleys where people swear the shadows walk side to side. i tried to film it with my vintage lens and ended up with three seconds of blackness and a ghosting effect that makes me think i’m hallucinating. someone warned me about the ‘ghosted by history’ vibes here-turns out they were right. the cafés play fado music but worse. like if fado was a heart attack in a velvet robe.
pro tip: don’t trust the tap water. not that it’ll kill you, but your digestive system will ghost you if you do. instead, buy the bottled water from the guy in the straw hat near the triumphal arch. he charges 1.20 euros and whispers promises about ‘local energy.’ he’s the mayor of hydration and a disgraced prophet of bad decisions.
rewriting this at midnight. the wifi is slow but the Triad of Doom-a local notary’s website, a suspiciously popular tapas bar, and a forum debating whether the coliseum here is haunted-keeps me company. I’m pretty sure the coliseum is just mad its ancient wifi plan got canceled. oh, and the ‘reviews’ i overheard? they said the public toilets charge entry. i’m not making that up. seriously, I’d check, but the valet said if I try to Google it, my phone will melt. maybe her words. maybe mine.
final note: the toilet saga is 100% true. don’t go there. go to the boulangerie instead. the croissants here are so good they look like they’re judging your life choices. and the cheese? don’t even ask. you’ll faint. or get exiled for eating the wrong kind.
You might also be interested in:
- https://topiclo.com/post/eindhoven-not-what-i-expected
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- https://topiclo.com/post/remote-work-in-ar-ramd-is-it-a-digital-nomad-paradise
- https://topiclo.com/post/nalchik-nights-chasing-shadows-in-the-kabardinobalkarian-republic
- https://topiclo.com/post/kazan-russia-where-the-wind-bites-and-the-pelmeni-are-divine