Osogbo’s Suburbs: Where Desi Shouldn’t Play and Why I Almost Picked a Custard Factory for Rent

so like i was scrolling hypon castellano posts about osogbo and immediately felt that gravitational pull of city life where everything’s a 20-minute ride from a hacked generator or a church choir. i’m here because i’m either freelancing remotely or trying to make my kid’s playdates not involve mosquito netting. either way, suburbs in osogbo are a chaotic mess of missed dry cleaner pickup times and sudden rain that turns your car into a floatie. let’s talk about where families and young pros should (or shouldn’t) live.

first off, i need to say this: osogbo’s cost of living is a joke compared to lagos. i mean, rent in ogun state? i heard they still measure it in words instead of usd. but here’s the catch-every suburb here is either
- near the market (which is like being in a giant supermarket funded by a cult)
- next to a primary school that charges enrollment fees in naira bills
- or gridlocked 12 hours a day unless you bribe a traffic cop with suya.

i met a lady who works as a digital nomad in a bamboo hut on a highway. she told me, ‘if you want hills, go to aba. if you want a view of the city, drive to adebayo area. i’m here because i tolerate the 7am traffic for better air quality.’ it’s wild, right? and honestly? i almost bought into that until i realized my toddler’s daycare was 45 minutes away in that area. yeah.

so let’s myth-bust. adebayo isn’t some ’posh’ suburb. it’s where your uncle owns a auto shop and your neighbor’s daughter bounces baby love in a car seat. but hey, the rent?
architects it out: $500/month for a unit that smells like pepper soup and diesel.
safety? mixed. you’ll see fewer muggers than lagos, but more ‘accidents’ where someone ‘forgot’ to close their gate.
* jobs? if you’re in tech or creative, you’ll find co-working spaces like we work here or local startups that pay better than the state salary chart. but if you’re a traditional job seeker? pray to the(y) local politician for a posting.

now here’s the data table thing. i stole this from a yelp review written by a man who sounds like he’s narrating a mission report:

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