Pyongyang's Climate Chaos: A Student's Unfiltered Survival Guide
so you're staring at pyongyang's weather report like it's a math exam you didn't study for. get ready for four seasons that punch you in the gut differently every time. right now? it's that weird limbo between summer and fall where the air feels like wet socks but the sun's still trying to cook you. humidity's at 85% and you can basically see the city sweating under its concrete towers.
safety? honestly, it's safer than my campus dorm. cops everywhere but mostly just glaring at each other. rent? forget it - state housing means you're stuck in a concrete box they give you unless you're rolling in foreign currency. heard from a dude who smuggled out data that a 'decent' apartment in a foreigner zone runs about $300/month if you know the right black market guy. jobs? good luck finding anything that doesn't involve juche propaganda. if you're lucky, maybe you can score a gig teaching english to the elite kids.
neighbors? dandong in china's like a stone's throw away if you have a death wish for border crossing. seoul's closer than you think geographically but politically lightyears distant.
"my fixer's cousin swears you can buy a bootleg copy of the avengers for $20 in the jangmadang. also, don't take pictures of traffic cops. they'll confiscate your phone and make you write 'i am a spy' 500 times."
food's dirt cheap if you're brave enough to eat at state canteens. 50-cent bowls of naengmyeon on cold days? fire. but the meat situation's dire unless you're paying in dollars at the fancy hotel restaurants.
"this grandma at the market whispered that winter hits like a freight train. minus 20 degrees and they shut down the heat at midnight. stock up on those instant noodle bricks - they're basically currency."
"some german tourist got arrested for laughing too loud at a propaganda film. true story. or maybe it was propaganda. who knows?"
spring's supposedly nice but everything's covered in yellow dust from china. summer's a sauna where you'll sweat through two shirts before noon. autumn's your best bet - crisp air and leaves turning colors that actually look real. winter? just pray you brought your arctic-grade thermals.
"a local kid tried to sell me a fake supreme hoodie for $200. said it was 'imported quality'. when i asked why it smelled like cabbage, he just shrugged."
pro tip: bring a power bank. electricity's sketchy outside of downtown. and maybe learn some korean - the english-only spots are tourist traps charging triple.
wanna know more? check these out: r/northkorea (crickets but gold), tripadvisor pyongyang forums, fodor's korea discussions, and lonely planet's korea guide.
that's the unfiltered weather lowdown from your broke student correspondent. now go buy a can of coke on the black market - it'll cost you a week's rent but it's worth it.
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