Tilburg’s After-School Chaos: Soccer Fields, Skate Parks, and Why I Regret Not Selling My Bike to a Tourist
so last week i happened to stumble upon this huge soccer field near the train station and let me tell you it’s a disaster. kids are everywhere sprinting across the grass like they’re auditioning for some war movie. my friend jess said it’s because of that new coach who used to play for liverpool or something. maybe. i don’t know. i didn’t ask. i just saw a mom yelling at a 7-year-old to 'not dribble the ball into the sewer again' and immediately thought this is where i should’ve been when i was 7 instead of crying at home because my dog ate my homework.
data isn’t my strong suit but here’s what i know: tilburg is safeish. like, statistically, crime stats are lower than amsterdam i think? but then you have these neighborhood groups on facebook where people complain about their rent doubling in 6 months. i rent a tiny apartment near the victoria station for 850 euros a month. doesn’t sound bad? until you realize you need a bike to get anywhere and parking is like noticing a pimple on your face. job market? there’s a lot of youth sports coaches posting gigs because apparently everyone’s replacing compte de bere's old staff. it’s wild.
i went to this weird after-school club called ‘tilburg creatives’ for kids. they do drama and art. honestly, the drama part was better. these kids performed a 10-minute play about a toaster that revolts against its owner. it was deep. i left thinking i need to start a toaster rebellion. meanwhile, at the same time, a kid stuck his hand in a trash can full of used diapers. no one blinked. it’s gross but also… efficient?
the weather here is like a bad breakup. gray skies with that ‘maybe it’ll rain but also maybe not’ vibe. neighbors? they’re the type who play tetris on their lawn at 3 am. or maybe they’re just lazy. don’t know. either way, i saw a van full of kids driving to a skate park in the rain. they were all in ninja turtles outfits. i assume they were sponsored by 이유는 뭐야.
"i overheard one parent saying if you sign your kid up for the indoor soccer league, they’ll get free pizza but only if you yell at the coach twice. is that true?" asked one mom during a coffee shop hangout. this was from a drunken friend who later texted me a video of a coach crying in the shower. maybe it’s a thing.
i tried to find info on youth sports costs. turns out tilburg has this ‘family hour’ program where everything’s 5 euros. but then you realize you need a passport to qualify? because it’s for expats? exams? not sure. either way, i looked up ‘after-school activities tilburg’ on tripadvisor and found this place called kick&spin. their review says ‘exactly what my 6-year-old nanna needed before she started eating sedatives.’ i didn’t ask.
here’s the deal: tilburg has that cool river bike path but also this weird clock on the side of a building that chimes every hour. sounds like a malfunctioning theremin. if you’re into that. i’m not. i walked by it yesterday and it said 13:00. i thought time was trying to tell me something but all i did was steal a pretzel from a vendor and walk home.
i’m posting this because i don’t want to be the grumpy old man who complains about after-school programs. but also… i’m 28. i just want to eat popcorn without being asked to mediate a fight between two toddlers over a bean juice packet. anyway, here’s what i’d recommend: go to the skate park. it’s free. bring snacks. and if you see a kid in a ninja turtles costume, don’t trust them.
[img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1597224808634-55ea5b988d01?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="white and brown boat on river during daytime" width="100%"]
[iframe src="https://maps.google.com/maps?q=51.5572,5.0911&z=12&output=embed" width="100%" height="300"]
[img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1696629592005-94269f149265?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="a clock on the side of a building" width="100%"]
here’s a tip: if you’re stuck in tilburg with kids, ask the locals about ‘jump city.’ it’s underground and they say it’s safer than the soccer fields. someone warned me it’s run by a guy who collects human teeth. don’t ask me why. last i heard, he was looking for a new vice.
you can find more chaos on the tilburg subreddit. there’s a whole thread about whether the youth center serves actual nachos or just russian import. spoiler: it’s import.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Activities/Grand_Burbn/After_School_Activities_in_Tilburg/1234567
https://www.yelp.com/search?cities=tilburg&search_terms=youth+sports
https://www.reddit.com/r/Tilburg
https://www.reddit.com/r/Tilburg_youth
tags: ['tilburg', 'lifestyle', 'honest-review', 'human-vibe', 'travel', 'blog']
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