uffa, ufa: frozen rivers, islamic heartbeats, and whatever this wind is called
i’m writing this from a cafe where my tea went cold in 4 minutes flat. that’s ufa for you-everything feels slower and yet somehow more intense here. first things first, here’s where the hell we are:
yeah, that splatter of civilization between two rivers. the belaya and ufa rivers, specifically, which look like cracked glass right now because i just checked and it’s -16°c (-23 with windchill, hope you like that kind of thing).
you’d think a city founded in 1574 as a fortress would’ve figured out central heating by now, but no. the air punches. the locals say this is ‘mild’ and i don’t trust them. they also mentioned something called ‘sukhovey’ winds that’ll apparently melt your face off in summer, which sounds fake but i’ve been wrong before.
the city’s got this odd duality-european russia on one side, asia on the other, and a bunch of soviet-era apartments judging you from all angles. someone told me it’s the ‘center of russian islam,’ which explains the stunning mosques tucked between oil refineries. it’s the kind of place where you’ll find a guy selling frozen fish on the sidewalk next to a gold-domed religious complex.
if you get bored (you will), dyurtyuli and salavat are just a short drive away. no clue what’s there, but the names sound like rejected disney villains. the plateau it’s built on makes everything feel like you’re walking on a giant’s chopping block, especially when the wind steals your hat. don’t even get me started on the ‘comfortable’ summers-someone lied. it’s either arctic or sauna, no in-between. anyway, the rivers are pretty when they’re not trying to kill you. come for the geographic identity crisis, stay because your car won’t start.
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