Kyoto’s Got a Grip (and Maybe a Ghost)
okay, so i’m pretty sure i’m running on caffeine and regret. 1855207… that’s the number of times i’ve nearly tripped over a loose cobblestone in this city. 1392114116… honestly, i have no idea what that is. probably just a random string of digits the universe decided to throw at me. i landed in Kyoto last week, and it’s… intense. like, aggressively intense. the air smells like damp moss and something vaguely sweet, maybe incense? i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.
I’m staying in this tiny guesthouse near Gion - it’s basically a glorified cupboard with a tatami mat. the guy who runs it, Hiroki, keeps offering me pickled plums. i politely decline. every time. he just smiles and says, "Kyoto flavor!" which is… unsettling. the neighbors are a weird bunch. if you get bored, Osaka is just a short drive away, apparently. someone told me that the geishas in Gion are actually retired calligraphers who’ve lost their nerve. wild, right? i heard that the best ramen is found down a side alley near the Nishiki Market - but it’s only open at 3 am. and that the bamboo forest is haunted. seriously haunted.
I spent yesterday wandering around Fushimi Inari-taisha, which is basically a never-ending tunnel of red torii gates. it was sweaty, it was crowded, and i almost got run over by a rickshaw. but it was also… breathtaking. i swear i saw a flicker of movement at the edge of my vision, like a shadow darting between the gates. i’m not saying it was a ghost, but… i’m not not saying it was a ghost.
*Gear List (because i’m a professional mess):
Hiking boots (obviously)
A ridiculously oversized backpack (for all the pickled plums)
A portable charger (because my phone dies faster than my enthusiasm)
A phrasebook (mostly for saying ‘no’ to pickled plums)
A ridiculously small notebook and pen (for capturing the chaos)
Earplugs (Hiroki snores)
Pro-Tip: Don’t trust anyone who offers you a tour of the Golden Pavilion. Seriously. Just… don’t. I tried to take some photos of the Golden Pavilion, and a guy in a kimono yelled at me in Japanese. it was a whole thing.
I stumbled across this tiny little tea house near Kiyomizu-dera Temple. the owner, an old woman named Hana, served me matcha and told me stories about the temple’s history. she said the temple is built on an ancient burial ground, and that the spirits of the dead still wander the grounds. she also warned me about a mischievous kappa who likes to steal socks. i’m taking that with a grain of salt, obviously. but… you never know.
Local Gossip:* Someone told me that the Imperial Palace is actually a giant, elaborate trap designed to confuse and disorient visitors. i don’t know if that’s true, but it sounds plausible.
I’m heading to Nara tomorrow to see the deer. apparently, they’re incredibly aggressive. i’m bringing a stick. and maybe a helmet.
Check out some more Kyoto adventures here: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Tourism-g294564-Kyoto_Kyoto_Prefecture_Kansai_Region-Vacations.html
And for the best ramen, apparently: https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=ramen&sort_by=relevance&location=Kyoto%2C+Japan
For local events and happenings: https://kyoto-confidential.com/
Seriously, this city is a trip. a beautiful, slightly terrifying, pickled-plum-filled trip.
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