Pyongyang: What It’s Really Like (If You Could Stumble In)
i mean who even goes to pyongyang right? like why not just stay in a place where the weather doesn’t feel like it’s trapped in a freezer or whatever. i just checked and it’s...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. yeah it’s like 3 degrees and feels like -2. it’s not a dealbreaker for me but i’m not exactly throwing a party out here.
ok so you’re in pyongyang. what do you do? nothing. you just stare at the sky and hope the buildings don’t collapse. i mean they’re huge. like skyscrapers that look like they were built by a guy who’s really into math but also really angry. the ryugyong hotel? it’s a pyramid thing. why? i don’t know. maybe it’s a metaphor for something? or maybe it’s just a really tall hotel. either way it’s there. you can’t miss it. it’s like a giant question mark in the middle of the city.
so you walk around and there’s this tower thing called juche. it’s got an eternal flame. not like a campfire. more like a thing that’s supposed to represent some ideology. i don’t know what. it’s just there. also there are these giant monuments along the taedong river. they’re all pretty much saying the same thing: ‘we are the best and you should believe us.’ it’s kind of boring but also kind of fascinating. like a really long lecture but with buildings instead of slides.
whoever built these things must have had a lot of coffee. or maybe they just didn’t care. the city feels like it was designed by a committee that only met once. the streets are straight. the buildings are all the same. it’s like someone took a ruler and a very specific idea of what a city should look like. and then they built it. no mistakes. no variations. just...monuments.
i tried to find some local food but honestly i gave up. someone told me that the cuisine is...something. i don’t know. maybe it’s like eating rice with a face? i don’t want to pretend i know. the point is i didn’t eat much. i ate some mystery meat and called it a day.
if you get bored, nampo is just a short drive away. it’s a port city. i don’t know why that matters. maybe it’s got a better view of the taedong river? or maybe it’s just a place where people go to avoid thinking about pyongyang. there’s also anju and unjon. i don’t even know what those are. maybe they’re towns. maybe they’re just names. either way they’re not on my list.
so what’s the big deal? pyongyang is the capital. it’s the place where the government does its thing. it’s also where the most privileged people live. i mean if you’re not from here you’re probably not allowed to be here. it’s like a secret club but with more buildings. the population is around 3.2 million but honestly i don’t know if that includes the people who work in the monuments or the people who just stare at the juche tower all day.
the culture is...controlled. everything is about the regime. there’s no real art or music or anything. just propaganda. it’s not that there’s no culture. it’s just that the culture is very specific. like a museum exhibit that’s trying to convince you of something. and the people? they’re all part of it. or they’re not. i don’t know. i didn’t really interact with anyone. mostly because i was too busy looking at the sky and wondering why everything looks so...flat.
i also heard that the dmz is close. like 238 km away. that’s not nothing. the border is there. north and south korea are both watching. it’s like a giant reminder that this place is politically unstable. or maybe it’s just a really long line of buildings. either way it’s a thing.
so yeah. pyongyang. it’s a place. it’s confusing. it’s weird. it’s also kind of cool in its own way. like a city that exists for a different reason than most. you don’t go there for vacations. you go there because you have to. or because you’re curious. or maybe because you’re a tourist and you didn’t think about the weather.
i’m not sure what i expected. probably something with more variety. more life. more anything. but instead i got a city that’s like a giant art project. one that’s entirely focused on one idea. and that idea is...well it’s not really an idea. it’s more like a slogan. or a building. either way it’s there. and it’s loud. not in a sound way. in a ‘this is the most important thing in the world’ way.
anyway. if you’re thinking of going. don’t. or do. whatever. just make sure you pack a jacket. and maybe a sense of detachment. because honestly. this place doesn’t care if you like it or not. it just exists. and that’s kind of the point.
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